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Suoni della puntata 2F31 |
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Suoni della puntata 2F31 |
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| Rappin'
Rabbis : Don't eat pork, not even with a fork. Can't touch this! Homer : Marge, are we Jewish? Marge : No, Homer. Homer : Woo hoo! |
|
| Skinner
: I'm telling you people, the earth revolves around the sun! Abe : Burn him! |
|
| Homer : But what can I do? I'm just.....one man. | |
| Patty
: The easiest way to be popular is to leech off the popularity of others. Selma : So we propose changing our name from "Springfield" to "Seinfeld". (Seinfeld theme plays) |
|
| Marge
: I'm Marge Simpson, and I have an idea. (everyone at the town meeting is disgusted.) |
|
| Abe : My car gets 40 rods to the hog's head, and that's the way I likes it! | |
makeup.WAV |
Chief
Wiggum : Can we make our own movies and enter them? Marge : Yes. Chief Wiggum : At last, an excuse to wear makeup! |
| Mayor
Quimby : All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea? Crowd : Film festival, film festival! Marge : You like my idea? Actually I have several others. Crowd : Don't push your luck, don't push your luck! Marge : Hmmmm. |
|
| Lisa
: And...action! Bart : Hello, I'm Bart Simpson. In the past, I've bought you such classic films as "Homer in the Shower" and "Homer on the Toilet". And now, I give you "The Eternal Struggle". (opens a door) Homer : (struggling with his pants) "Relaxed fit", my Aunt Fanny! Stupid Dockers. Oh! The belt is buckled. Heh heh...(struggles some more) |
|
| Flanders : Lights, camera, ac-diddely-doddely-doodely-action Jackson! | |
| Ned
Flanders : (gasp) Flanders to God, Flanders to God, get off your cloud
and save my Todd! (a tree then falls across the river, saving Todd) Family : Yay! Ned Flanders : Thanks, God! God : Okily dokily! |
|
| Marge
: Did you know there are over 600 critics on TV and Leonard Maltin is the
best looking of them all? Lisa : Eww! |
|
| Rainier Wolfcastle : Jay, my new film is a mixture of action and comedy. It's called "McBain: Let's Get Silly". | |
| McBain
: Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up? ......That's
the joke. Man : You suck, McBain! (McBain pulls a machine gun and fires into the audience.) McBain : Now, my Woody Allen impression: I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls. Another man : Hey, that really sucked! (McBain pulls the pin on a grenade and tosses it at him.) |
|
sleep.WAV |
Rainier
Wolfcastle : The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour
and a half. It cost 80 million dollars. Jay : How do you sleep at night? Rainier Wolfcastle : On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies. Jay : Just asking. Yeesh! |
cutip.WAV |
Lisa
: I like him. He's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessed with
his physical appearance... Homer : My ears are burning. Lisa : Uh, I wasn't talking about you, dad. Homer : No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip. |
loafers.WAV |
Jay
: Uh, hey nudnick, your shoe's untied. Rainier Wolfcastle : From here they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look. Jay : Taxi! (jumps into a taxi) To the airport! (hours later) Rainier Wolfcastle : On closer inspection, these are loafers. |
| Announcer
: Coming up next: "The Flintstones Meet The Jetsons". Bart : Uh oh, I smell another cheap cartoon crossover. Homer : Bart Simpson, meet Jay Sherman, the critic. Jay : Hello. |
|
| Smithers
: I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Market research shows people see
you as something of an ogre. Mr. Burns : I ought to club them and eat their bones! |
|
| (Homer and Jay's stomach fight over the last pork chop.) | |
| Lisa
: Mr. Sherman, I understand you have two Pulitzer prizes. Jay : Well, I, heh heh, it's not like I carry them around with me. Ooh, it's so hot in here! (removes sweater to reveal Pulitzers) Oh, look! Here's my Peoples' Choice award. Five Golden Globes. Hmm...where's my Emmy? (Santa's Little Helper coughs it up) Thank you! |
|
| Homer
: Well I won the belching contest at work. (belches in Jay's face,
everyone laughs) Jay : Nice, Homer. (belches longer and louder, car alarms go off outside) Lisa : Wow! How many Pulitzer prize winners can do that? Jay : Just me and Eudora Welty. |
|
| (doorbell rings) Marge : Oh, I invited my sisters over. Jay : Ooooh, sisters. Allow me. (walks to the door; opens it; screams at the sight of Patty and Selma) |
|
| Jay
: So then I said to Woody Allen, "Well, Camus can do, but Sartre is
smartre!" (Patty laughs) Selma : That's so original. Marge : How droll! Homer : Yeah, well, "Scooby Doo can doo-doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter." |
|
| Homer
: Marge, do you respect my intelligence? Marge : (long pause) Yes. Homer : Okay.....Wait a minute, why did it take you so long to say yes? Marge : (long pause) No reason. Homer : Okay.....wait a minute, are you humoring me? Marge : (long pause) Yes. Homer : Okay.....wait a minute, that's bad! |
|
| Jay
: Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner! (Bart and Lisa join in) That is what I'd truly like to be! 'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner, everyone would would be in love with me! (Santa's Little Helper howls) |
|
| Homer : I'll just take a lock of your hair to remember you by. It's just you and me now, lock of hair. | |
| Moe : Money gets you one more round. Drink it down, you stupid clown. Money gets you one more round. You're out on your ass. | |
| Barney
: Next they're gonna show my movie. Bart : You made a movie? Barney : I made a movie? |
|
| Barney
: My name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic. Lisa : Mr. Gumbel, this is a Girl Scout meeting. Barney : Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem? |
|
| Crowd
: Boo, boo! Mr. Burns : Smithers, are they booing me? Smithers : Um, no, they're saying "Boourns, boourns!". Mr. Burns : Are you saying "Boo!" or "Boourns!"? Crowd : Boo! Hans Moleman : I was saying boourns. |
|
house.WAV |
Jay
: How could you vote for Burns' movie? Krusty : Let's just say it moved me, to a bigger house! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet, ohh ho dear. |
| Krusty : Now let's get going. I've got a date with Eudora Welty. (a huge belch can be heard) Coming, Eudora! | |
| Homer
: I have every right to be on that jury, even though I got there because
I'm sleeping with the head of the festival. Jay : How many times have I heard Rex Reed say that? |
|
| Homer
: Hmm...Barney's movie had heart, but "Football in the Groin"
had a football in the groin. Barney : (on the screen) Don't cry for me, I'm already dead. Homer : Wow. I'll never drink another beer. Man : Beer here! Homer : I'll take ten. |
|
| Homer : You know something, Marge? It's not that tough being a film cricket. | |
| Barney
: I've learned I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, there'll
be a new Barnard Gumbel: hardworking, clean, and sober. Mayor Quimby : Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your grand prize: a lifetime supply of Duff beer. Barney : Huh? ...Just hook it to my veins! |
|
beernuts.WAV |
Homer : Marge, look! This has spring snakes inside but the suckers will think it's beer nuts, heh heh...mmm...beer nuts. (opens can, snakes pop out) Aaaah! D'oh! |
| Rainier
Wolfcastle : And the Oscar goes to.....George C. Scott in "Man
Getting Hit By Football". (Everyone applauds while Mr. Burns steams.) George C. Scott : Aargh! My groin! |